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If you’re no longer attracted to your partner and especially if you have not shared this with your partner, then this article is for you.


I’ve recognised working with hundreds of couples that this is very common and taking time to understand your own feelings and the reasons behind your lack of attraction is crucial.


Recognizing what is happening for you is number one. Is it temporary or is there a deeper sign of incompatibility?


🌟Are there specific issues in the relationship or external factors impacting your feelings?

🌟Do you have clarity about your own emotions, which is important before taking any action?

🌟Are you confused, worried, and stuck in your mind trying to work it out?

🌟Do you say yes to sex but do it to please your partner and feel terrible after?



In this article, you’ll identify your top 5 steps to approach this sensitive situation with sensitivity, respect, and open communication.



  1. Get the conversation happening
  2. Get to the roots of what’s really going on
  3. Ignite the spark you once had
  4. Don’t leave it too late
  5. Don’t lie to yourself


  1. Get the conversation happening

Talk to your partner about your feelings in a respectful and honest manner. Choose a calm and appropriate setting to have an open conversation. Be prepared for their reaction and be willing to listen to their perspective. Honesty is important for maintaining trust in a relationship.


  1. Get to the roots of what’s really going on

Explore the underlying issues.  Sometimes, a decrease in attraction can be linked to other relationship problems such as communication issues, lack of intimacy, or unresolved conflicts.  Does it come back to body issues, how you feel in your body or your partner’s body? Discuss these issues with your partner and see if there are ways to work on them together.


  1. Ignite the spark you once had

Rekindle the spark.  It’s possible that the attraction can be revived through shared experiences, quality time together, and focusing on nurturing the emotional connection. Engage in activities that you both enjoy, try new things together, and try to ignite the passion.


  1. Don’t leave it too late

Seek professional help.  If you’re struggling to navigate your feelings or if the issues in the relationship seem too challenging to address on your own, consider seeking the assistance of a professional therapist. They can provide guidance, help you explore your emotions, and assist in finding a resolution.


  1. Don’t lie to yourself

Evaluate the long-term compatibility: While attraction is important, it’s not the sole foundation of a successful relationship. Consider other factors such as shared values, communication, and compatibility. It’s essential to assess whether the lack of attraction is a temporary phase or a deeper sign of incompatibility.


Remember, every relationship is unique, and what works for one couple may not work for another. It’s important to approach these suggestions with an open mind and adapt them to fit your specific circumstances and relationship dynamics.


I support people to CHANGE, to design their best lives and relationships.


Counselling, Coaching and online program – https://powerofchange.com.au/relationship-coaching/ 


Check out IGNITE an online program for couples to ignite their spark in their relationship. Download the Power of Change app or click the link to your App Store below.






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