Power of Change | Counselling and Coaching Services

Best communication tool for a power struggle


Many of us live busy, stressful lives. Instead of a power struggle over who’s the most stressed, being able to destress together is a great tool to have.


The talking stick is the best communication tool for a power struggle that ensures a code of conduct of respect. Use a small branch, pen, or something symbolic that represents the commitment and time you both have for each other. Each of you should have a turn with the talking stick, where whoever is holding it is the only one speaking, and the other partner must listen quietly and respectfully before you swap over.


Begin with 5 minutes (increase this with time) to share what’s on your mind and how you are feeling without judgement. If need be, swap over a few times.


Discussion with talking stick can include:


If you are the listener:


Eye contact and showing that you are interested is important. Do not use this exercise as a time to project all your venom and pain onto your partner.


After the Talking Stick as the listener, it’s easy to give suggestions and advice. This can suggest to your partner that you are trivialising or dismissing the problem, which is not supportive.


You must let your partner know that you fully understand and empathise with the dilemma before you suggest anything. Showing you understand and have compassion is the most important.


Women tend to be more sensitive to advice-giving. Men are more hardwired to fix or “deal with” the problem. If you can realise that it’s not your responsibility, this will help you enormously.



Tune in to my Empowered Marriage Podcast to learn more. This fortnight’s podcast is available now and discusses this topic in more depth.


Best communication tool for a power strugglehttps://www.powerofchange.com.au/empowered-marriage-podcast/


Interested in more articles, tips, and advice? Click here for Facebook and here for Instagram.