I work with a lot of individuals who have lost their identity. It’s very painful and you will be suffering greatly if you are feeling this. I did, and I know firsthand what it feels like and what is needed to come back from this.
What is losing your identity, what does that mean?
- You cannot make decisions for yourself
- Loss of confidence and self-esteem
- A shell of your old life and who you were
- Given up your social life and your own interests
- You compromise your wants and needs for your partner
- Your feeling unhappy, negative, sad, angry or frustrated.
- You seek acceptance from others
- Say yes to please
- An emptiness, feeling not whole and lost
- AND many, many more………
Losing your identity is soul-destroying and we primarily do it because we seek external validation to make us feel worthy and loved. The tricky part of marriage is maintaining your own sense of identity while being an equal part in a marriage.
Asking yourself some deeper questions and focusing on purpose can begin to support you to connect with identity and who you are. I believe you have what you need for this lifetime you don’t have to go looking for it. Creating time and space to go within and allow yourself to listen
Create a space where you’re comfortable and will not be disturbed. Close your eyes and connect to your breath. When you’re ready and you have settled into your body say these questions out loud one by one. Be open to the responses.
- What is my highest purpose in life? (You may get one word. That’s okay. Allow it to grow.)
- If money had no limit what would I do?
- What stops me from reaching my full potential?
- What do I have to do to remove the obstacles to reaching my full potential?
- Is there anything I am doing that is preventing me from reaching my purpose?
- How can I fulfil my dreams?
- What can I do to create some space in my daily life to slow it down, space so I can sit with myself and be with just me?
- Is what I am doing now right for me? Am I on the right track?
- What help and support do I need at the moment? Who can provide that support, or where can I access it?
If you are finding it difficult to answer the questions, do not stress about it. Surrender to being okay with not knowing at this moment. Your job is to create space in your life to hear the message when it comes through to you. Perhaps your purpose at this moment is to just stop and connect with your inner world. Reducing the pressure, you put on yourself will free you up to be who you are meant to be and to listen to your inner messages.
This is just one way of how to not lose your identity in your marriage. As you begin to focus and asking yourself some deeper questions, you will find your…
- Self-esteem and confidence will improve
- You will start speaking up
- You will start putting yourself first
- You will start liking/loving yourself
- You will feel less like a victim and more victorious
- AND many more positive ways
It’s your responsibility to connect, seek and act on your purpose and when you live a purpose-filled life your sense of identity and why you are here will begin to germinate.
Tune into to my Empowered Marriage Podcast to learn more. This week’s podcast discusses this topic in more depth. How to not lose your identity in your marriage – https://www.powerofchange.com.au/empowered-marriage-podcast/