I just want you to love me
“You please me, and our relationship is good.”
“Please me and we are good, and I will stick around.”
This is called a conditional relationship and a large part of relationships and marriages are this.
Conditional relationships are held together with individuals not taking responsibility for their own happiness and connection with themselves.
Staying in alignment with yourself is the key. Staying true to your inner voice and not looking out there to get what you need. That is nothing to do with you out there.
Your relationship with your inner being is the most important relationship you will ever have. Someone out there is not more important than what is going on inside of you.
Tuning yourself so you can feel your inner voice and knowing is so important. Focus on yourself so you can feel it. Looking outside of yourself weakens you.
We are all expansive creatures, not to be caged, trapped, or controlled. Being all of you without constriction is vital for a free-flowing healthy relationship with yourself and then others.
You do things for your partner because you choose to because you want to not because you are trying to make your partner happy.
Meditation
Meditation is such a fabulous way to begin gaining a connection with your inner self.
- The idea of meditation is to be present and calmer in your life, peaceful, clear and openhearted. This allows for a natural connectedness and intimacy with yourself and others.
- Meditation takes practice, daily. What’s important is the regularity and it becomes part of your every day and coming home to yourself.
- Deep satisfying connection with source, alignment, connection with yourself.
- Approach is everything. The biggest reason people quit meditation is that they judge themselves for how they are practising. Set your intention to be kind and accepting towards yourself no matter how your meditation unfolds.
- Paying attention to your posture is important. Periodically come back to check your posture, as a way of staying connected to your senses.
- Knowing what your anchor is, it’s very helpful. The breath. You might choose to pay attention to the sensations of the breath as it enters and leaves your nostrils, or the rise and fall of your chest as you are breathing. For some, it is helpful to attend to the experience of the whole-body breathing. The body. You might place your attention on the sensations in a part of your body, perhaps your hands, feet, belly or lips. Sounds – Listening to the sounds around you as they arise and fall away.
- The goal of meditation is not to get rid of thoughts. You cannot stop your thoughts. Instead of judging when you find you’ve been distracted, bring about interest and friendliness to the shift from thoughts to presence.
- Remember Kindness If you encounter difficult emotions such as fear, confusion, sadness or hurt, offer yourself kindness. You might put a hand gently over your heart and send a message of care to the vulnerable place inside you.
- If your new to this it will feel very strange to sit in silence and be with your innermost thoughts and feelings, to sit and do nothing. We are a society of doing. Notice the uncomfortableness and do it anyway.
Begin with 5 minutes and slowly build up over time. Notice what you are feeling and thinking and don’t attach to it, allow it. Pick your anchor and go within and be with yourself.
“You please me, and our relationship is good.” Turns around to
“I please me, and my relationship is good with me, then you.”
Tune into to my Empowered Marriage Podcast to learn more. This fortnight’s podcast is available now and discusses this topic in more depth.
I just want you to love me – https://www.powerofchange.com.au/empowered-marriage-podcast/
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