Here are some scenarios I often see in my counselling practice.
“I’m not sure if I want to be married anymore.”
“I no longer want to have sex with you”.
“We are like two ships passing in the night”.
“I love you but I’m not in love with you”.
If your marriage is not a priority the above can happen to you, it’s more common than you think. It’s vital to make the relationship a priority.
Here are 6 Ways to make your marriage a priority:
1. Schedule couple time: You both need to create positive shared experiences in order to counter the mundane, build good memories, and have something to look forward to.
2. Treat each other with respect and care: This is the foundation of a healthy happy marriage. When the relationship is suffering in even small ways, this needs to be your default mode, what you go back to, to change the emotional climate in the relationship.
3. Say “yes” rather than “yes but.”Improving is all about working together as a team, and the number one rule of improving is “yes.” Rather than getting defensive or controlling and negating what the other person is saying, you build on it, add to it, and create trust rather than controlling and jockeying for power.
4. Create intimate conversations: It’s all too easy to fall into conversational patterns—you talk about work, talk about kids, and what you’ve done. Intimacy doesn’t mean talking about deep dark secrets but stepping outside your comfort zones. You’ll know when you’re doing exactly that because you’ll have a twinge of anxiety. Take the risk and say it. Deepen the conversation. Have no expectations. Again, it’s about breaking patterns and expanding the ordinary.
5. Solve problems: Have an agenda, be an adult, and pretend you’re at work. The goal is to help you and your partner understand one thing; solve one problem. Don’t go into the woods into the past, drama and courtroom. Stay sane. Make your point. Solve your problem.
6. Check in with each other: How are we doing? It’s easy to bypass these conversations because they are out of your routine or because you are afraid of the answer. But these are the important conversations to have, to talk about the little stuff and about the elephant in the room. Do it even though it is hard. If you need to, plan check-in times once a week.
Listen to the podcast – Is Your Marriage a Priority?
I support people to CHANGE, to design their best lives and relationships.
Counselling, Coaching and online program. https://powerofchange.com.au
Check out IGNITE an online program for couples to ignite their spark in their relationship. Download the Power of Change app or click the link to your app store below
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.pp3pvv44q01g.pwb1u6uqapp&pli=1
https://apps.apple.com/au/app/power-of-change/id1664333681
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