Couples must go through a process of healing, Gottman calls the overall process atonement, attune and attach.

 

The first stage is recognizing the need for that hurt person to hear again and again the offending person is genuinely sorry. It cannot occur if the offending person applies some of the blame on that hurt partner. The offending person must take responsibility for the painful way they have acted.

 

Regardless if it’s a one-night stand, a one-month affair or continuous partners over the last 6 years. What has happened is there’s been a massive interruption to trust, a betrayal. And at the same time, the injured person must continually work on forgiveness.

 

Listen to my podcast while I discuss the six different stages that a couple must work through that will help to build back that foundation of trust.

 

Interested in reading about this topic more in-depth? Read more here.

 

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