You want more Passion, Desire and Fun
Do you want more passion, desire and fun? Are you feeling bored and stuck, perhaps you’re in a rat and your marriage has gone stale? This is quite common, and you are perhaps beginning to look outside of yourself and comparing your relationship with other relationships?
- Are you asking yourself if this is as good as it gets?
- Are you unmotivated, exhausted, and lazy in your marriage?
The reality is if you’re bored, you need to do something about it. Focusing on what you want more than what you don’t want will be helpful and the first place to start is to be the change that you want to see in your marriage by making it your priority.
Many people are very time poor and the marriage is way down the bottom of importance. Here are some ideas to get you started.
7 Ways to begin making your relationship a priority:
- Setting aside a designated time during each day to talk.
- Enjoying regular date nights.
- Moving heaven and earth to make sure that nothing else gets in the way of the two of you spending quality time together, your relationship needs to become a priority.
- To get up from whatever you’re doing and just give each other a big hug when your partner gets home.
- Kiss studies show that oxytocin a feel-good hormone is released through physical contact. And so, this helps you to naturally feel closer and better about yourself and your relationship.
- Introducing an electronic ban. Both of you put all your electronic equipment out of the bedroom.
- When did you last look into your partner’s eyes? Start eye gazing. That is a tremendous way to start connecting with each other without having to talk.
You need to act. Simply accepting that being bored is okay and normal in your marriage, I believe is a ticking time bomb to divorce. Choosing to settle for feeling bored and that it’s okay, I believe is extremely sad and it can impact your health, quality of your marriage and longevity of your marriage.
Do you really want to accept this as your life?
Probably not. It’s a very common issue that comes into my counselling practice. People sit in the chair or I connect with them online and they say, I am bored. I’ve lost my Mojo. I’ve lost my spark, lost my motivation. I feel like I’m in survival. I’m not thriving.
A mindset of change is extremely helpful. Creating passion, desire and fun begins with you and creating opportunities for that. Seeing your marriage as a sense of security, feeling grounded, feeling centred, something that was built through love is crucial. To then spring-board off that with your partner with all that you do say and feel to create more passion desire and fun.
It is not your partner’s responsibility to create more passion, desire, and fun in your marriage. If you’re struggling with anxiety, depression, with stress, face your issues, seek some support. If you’re unable to move that within yourself, seek support and see a therapist. Your happiness is your responsibility. Tiny little changes can make a huge difference.
Here are 5 ways to create more Passion, Desire, and fun in your marriage
1. Brainstorm what you would like to do
One of you might like to go bushwalking and one of you might like to go to the beach, work together and do things that are completely out of the ordinary. You may do date night and you just go out to the local restaurant. Well, what if you decide to pack a picnic and go down to the water or just go for an evening walk or do a new project together? Also, think about what you used to do in the early days or things that you have talked about doing and action them. The idea is to keep your marriage interesting. The possibilities are endless.
2. Being Spontaneous
In this 21st century, so much is ordered, planned, and just habit. There is nothing more thrilling than being spontaneous. Doing what you feel, and communication is the key. Knowing when each other are free, making it possible to surprise one another. Being spontaneous is creative. It’s fun, and no matter how busy you both are, there is always something fun that you can do. You can do together even for a brief amount of time. Begin to be creative.
3. Learn something new every day
Learn new skills. If you do this, you then have discussions with your partner. You have something new. I work a lot with couples who work together. They live together, they work together, and sometimes they don’t have outside of hobbies, so they actually have nothing new to bring to the marriage. Learning something new. Just think back on how much you and your partner opened up to one another when you first got together, and chances are it was one of the main ways you connected. No matter how long you’ve been together, there are new things that you can learn about your partner and look forward to uncovering these daily.
4. Find ways to spice up your life
Keep the intimacy between you fresh so that you both look forward to making love and see the act as an exciting adventure together. Talk honestly with your partner about their secret desires and make your sex life more exciting. For example, maybe you’ve never shared much when it comes to how you want to be massaged, foreplay or positions. Talking openly about how you can find ways to spice up your life is crucial and once you are comfortable talking with one another, you will feel more deeply connected and satisfied.
5. Life outside of your marriage
Have your own interests, hobbies and relationships. It is important both husbands and wives have their own lives outside of marriage. Spending time with people other than your partner. New goals, hobbies, interests. All marriages can go through phases and times where you feel disconnected.
Recognise that you are feeling this. It’s not projecting it onto your partner. It’s about taking ownership of what you can do differently. If you do not address this, the gap between you can grow, you can become disconnected, disinterested. And when you begin to stop caring about your partner, that is not a good place to be in. So, if you’re feeling bored and lost your spark what can you begin today to bring back passion, desire and fun in yourself and your marriage.
Tune into my Empowered Marriage Podcast to learn more. This fortnight’s podcast is available now and discusses this topic in more depth.
I just want you to love me – https://www.powerofchange.com.au/empowered-marriage-podcast/