The Number 1 Difference Between Men and Women
There is one thing men love to do, it’s to fix things. If there’s a problem, he has a solution. If you have a problem, he wants to fix it. In fact, “just listening” and not doing anything, makes a man feel mighty uncomfortable.
Women if you’re feeling sad or you’re emotional, your man will feel like it’s his problem and must fix it. He will feel very uncomfortable with your unhappiness. Know that him wanting to fix it, isn’t that he doesn’t understand (or isn’t trying to), it’s that he wants to do anything in the world for you to feel happier and it’s by doing because that is what he knows.
Women love to connect. Rather, women NEED to connect as it’s what allows a woman to trust. If you do not communicate with her, she doesn’t feel she can trust you, which is exactly why women share so much. Women will often simply share what’s on their minds, to let go of the many things that affected them emotionally (on any level) throughout the day. While stockpiling thoughts, feelings, and emotions eventually they will overflow much like a bucket would overflow if filled to high.
For a woman to empty her bucket of emotions, thoughts or feelings is the greatest relief and provides a sense of calmness, especially when it’s someone close to her that lets her do this.
Therefore, women typically vent, or rattle on (as I have often done), or talk for hours and hours, sometimes with no one specific points, just many random thoughts. A woman feels most comfortable, happy, and trusting when she can share her feelings freely.
It’s important to remember to clearly communicate at the very beginning of any vent session whether there is a call to action such as “fix it” or “just listen”.
Women, it’s important to understand the best time and place to vent or share with your man and I can tell you one thing, it’s never while he’s driving or when he just got home from work.
At times neither of you will be able to be there for each other and you need to know how to be there for yourself, making time and space to develop your inner peace and calmness is crucial.
A simple technique for a close relationship with yourself.
This simple self-empowering exercise if you practice enough will be your go-to any time, you are feeling some unease within yourself. Identifying within yourself, conflict, tension, blame, judgement and more.
- S: Stop what you are doing, bring in stillness and breath.
- E: Enquire what you’re feeling inside the body
- L: Love yourself enough to give yourself what you need
- F: Fill your own cup up
Instructions: Find some space on your own where you will not be interrupted.
Stop Recognising what is going on inside of you right now, your inner world. Feelings, reactions, tensions for example blame, judgement and sadness.
Enquire: Notice what you believe about yourself and the other person if someone is involved. What are you feeling? Where do you feel the feelings and tension in your body, the anger, hurt, sadness, confusion and resentment for example.
Love: Yourself enough to give yourself what you need. What is the unmet need here? Support, love, cared about, to feel respected, understood, important, appreciated, courage, strength or safe.
Fill your own cup up:
Some examples can include surfing, bushwalking, reading poetry, listening to music or soaking in a bath.
Keep enjoying your differences because you learn so much about yourself.
Tune in to my Empowered Marriage Podcast to learn more. This fortnight’s podcast is available now and discusses this topic in more depth.
The Number 1 difference between Men and Women – https://www.powerofchange.com.au/empowered-marriage-podcast/
Transform Your Relationship in 6 weeks or less with Ignite – Click here for more info
Or check out this article from my blog – 9 Most Common Marriage Problems